Early Morning Thoughts

It is just after 2 AM and I finally got up after lying in bed stewing. Yes I hate to admit I was getting more and more frustrated as I laid awake thinking. At times I have woken with a strong desire to pray for Annika, but this time I finally decided I also needed to blog.

This week many of you prayed I would finally hear from the agency with the much anticipated news of a referral. Well, it is Friday and still no real news. What I hear is “we will let you know as soon as we know”. I know, this is not what we have all been praying for. Who could have known this journey would take so long!! A few times this week I have wanted to scream “God I know you are in control, but please can you just show me how you are working”. For me struggling through the waiting has not been doubting that God is in control, it is day by day or even moment by moment choosing to resist the urge to grab at that control. If we are truly honest with ourselves we all struggle with this repeatedly throughout our lives.

It is easy to say to someone “God is in control”. Yes He is and those are well meaning words, but through this week God is showing me that people often need more than that. We all need the precious help of family and friends as they encourage, listen and pray for us. I could not have gotten through this much of the journey without the love and support from all of you! Unfortunately this week has not brought answers to when the next leg of the journey will begin, but it has made me more and more thankful for each of you. After all, we are all on some type of journey and without the tender touch from family and friends our steps would be so much more difficult.

Today I write this post early in the morning to update all of you, to release some of my frustration, but most of all to someday let my little girl know how much I truly loved her before I held her in my arms and whispered “I love you sweetheart”.